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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Internal Dialogues - III

*IV- Inner Voice

IV: "Ask her out."
Me: "Wha? Ohh, it's you again."
IV: "Yup, it's me alright. The one with the balls; the one with the answers."
Me: "You are so full of yourself for an IV, you know that?"
IV: "Thanks for the compliment. Ask her out."
Me: "I'm not going to ask her out!"
IV: "C'mon man, look at her-"
Me: "Yeah, she is a nice girl and-"
IV: "Screw that bit; just look at the ass; is that hot or what?"
Me: "What?"
IV: "You have to agree that she is a real looker; and you like her. So, ask her out."
Me: "I'm not going to ask her out because of her ass!"
IV: "Alright then, why will you ask any girl out then?"
Me: "For the personality and-"
IV: "Bullshit. If personality is what girls are going to look for; you can say hello to celibacy."
Me: "You are suggesting that I have little personality?"
IV: "No."
Me: "Then?"
IV: "I'm saying that you have zero personality. I'm telling you again; ask her out."
Me: "If I do; it'd just because she has a great personality and the works."
IV: "If she agrees to go out with you; ask her to cover her face with a paper bag since it's just her personality you are interested in."
Me: "Don't be silly; it's just a co-incidence that she is pretty as well."
IV: "Listen to yourself, man. Did your folks emasculate you after birth? It's natural for a guy to like a girl based on her looks; it's not being shallow; it's about attraction. After all, we are still animals but ony more pretentious."
Me: "Don't lecture me-"
IV: "Look man, I know that your jeans almost burst when you look at her. Listen to your body, for chrissake. If you like a girl, you ask her out. If she says no, too bad. You ask another one out and life moves on. Now if one of the pretty girls you ask out happens to have a great personality too, bingo! It happens far too rarely for you to wait 25 years to ask a girl out, man!"
Me: "While I appreciate your concern, I will ask her out only when the time is right."
IV: "Like maybe on Brother's Day, eh?"
Me: "Sure. Why not?"
IV: "Well, I knew that you were a loser but now I know that you are a wuss too."
Me: "I'm just nice. You are an absolute asshole."
IV: "The world is full of nice guys; that's why it's in such a mess."
Me: "Whatever! Now go away, I'm rather busy..."
IV: "Thinking about her personality; right."
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