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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Even More Reservations

June 2060: We have even lost Andaman now. Our Army, led by the Head Chef, had no answers to the expert stick-wielding tactics used by the Jarowa tribes. It was the turn of the SBC (Strangely Backward Classes) to lead the Army and he was the only representative of that class in the Army. Our Army, it is heard, threw potatoes and artichokes at the aggressive Jarowa tribesmen. The Jarowa tribes are now inching their way towards Backwardluru.

June 2060
: I was browsing through the newspaper of the ARC (Anal Retentive Class) and read an article about how popular the ARC Idol is. There were a record number of entries (5) this year and the finalist, an eighty-year old man, won the contest by 3 votes after his opponent misplaced his dentures. The idol, elated by the news, had a heart attack and passed away.

July 2060: There was a beauty pageant for the MRC (Most Regressive Class). All the contestants were clad in a burkha.

July 2060: Record numbers of students, most from HFFC (Hugely Forward Forward Class) and SBHFFC (Slightly Backward HFFC) have now joined universities in Somalia and even the madrassas of North-West Frontier Province. Said the Dean of an IIM – J (Jaunpur), ‘With the arrival of reservations for the FCBCMBC (Forward Class of the Backward Class of the Most Backward Class), there will be less number of seats for the MBFCMBC (Most Backward of the Forward Class of the Moderately Backward Class) and the SFMBMFC (Slightly Forward of the Moderately Backward of the Most Forward Class). The class diversity has also taken a hit. The IIMs no longer have any English-speaking graduates or faculties in classes and even the CAT has to printed in regional dialects.’

August 2060: Today was Independence Day. Children were taken to the Infosys Museum to educate them about their oppressive past. It is said that only MC (Meritorious Class) had ever made it into Infosys before it went bankrupt.

August 2060
: The Stock Market went past 100! Most of the push came from the FIIs based in Ghana, Mali and Hawaii. I’m now a hazaarpati.

September 2060: The budget was announced. Almost 50% of the budget was allocated to the Army for upgrading pistols, electric darts and poison-tipped arrows. Fleets of fishermen boat have been inducted into the Navy. After defeats Pakistan, China, Tibet, Maldives, Burma, Bhutan and Nepal, we needed this to ward off the Jarowa Tribes.

December 2060: Sorry for the delay but I was in the hospital. I was learning typing in Braille. I had to be operated for my tonsillitis but the doctor, the same Unscheduled Caste Quota guy who has sawn off my leg, performed a cataract instead.
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