Hollywood Reloaded
"Myyyyy preciousssssss.....", Gollum said as he looked lovingly at the ring.He was still dazed on how easily he got the ring from Frodo.He couldn't understand why Frodo ran after the white rabbit.
Crack.
Gollum stopped dead in his tracks.
"Who is there....", he mumbled.He clutched onto the ring as he devored it with his eyes.
"You think that is a ring you are staring at ,Gollum?".
Gollum glared at Morpheus, who was busy putting on his glares.
"Get away from me nasties!", Gollum snarled.
Morpheus looked at Gollum with such a lack of expression that it was an expression by itself.
"Tell me Gollum,is that a ring you are staring at?"
Gollum looked at Morpheus as if he was staring at Banquo's ghost.
"Don't ask Smeagol.Poor,poor Smeagol....me thinks it is a ring."
Morpheus started again : "Don't think it is...know it...'".Before he could finish his sentence,a Nazgul swept over Morpheus and swallowed him up in one go.
"Noooooooooooo........",Neo shouthed.
Trinity looked slightly relieved.She couldn't stand his philosphical ramblings anyways.
Neo ran like the wind and provoked the Nazgul
"Come on Sentinel...eat me up too.Or do you only eat androgynous men who spew their life's discontent at you.Huh...what's the matter with you,why do you look so zapped..and why are you staring the the sky,you dodo.Look at me.Now!"
Not being able to ellicit a reponse,he gazed skywards and almost crapped in his pants.
"What the...."
A fleet of alien spaceships was hurling towards them.
Neo looked around for the nearest phonebooth and spotted it.He put on his D&G glares and ran towards it.Trinity was already in it....tring...not anymore.
As Neo ran towards the booth,he could hear his glares talking to him : "This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds."
Not knowing what to make of it,he still ran towards the booth.As the phone rang once,his glares exploded and he wailed like a girl.
"My eyesssss......my eyes.......".
Somehow he got to the reciever and was zoomed back to the mothercraft.Now we know how he was actually blinded in the movie.
While all of this was happening,Agent M had already arrived on the scene.He looked at the spacecraft and talked to his phone : "Damnnnn it!We have a Code 11.I repeat,we have a Code 11.I will do my best to contain the situation over here while you guys haggle it out with the Bushwhackers as to why they have invaded Mordor.I thought we made it clear to them that these people do not have WMD's.All they have is orcs and olephants!"
Saying this,he flung his phone in frustration and walked towards Gollum and the Nazgul.
"Okay people.This is a demo as to how you can avoid constipation during an emergency crisis."
Gollum looked slightly nonplussed while the Nazgul stared on with interest.The fledgling he just ate was creating quite a ruckus in his stomach.
"I want you guys to look at the red light.And when I say squeeze,look at this light and try to crap."
Shouting out "Squeeze",he pressed the button.
*Flash*.
"Now all I have to do is alter their memories.I'll call over to the HQ and ask them to send me that talking donkey who fell in love with the dragon.That should take care of the Nazgul...."
What M didn't know was that the Nazgul was a male.Happy life,Eddie!
And M sort of liked Gollum and decided to make him his pet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
M.K.Shyamalan decided to make a movie.He wanted Bruce Willis to act in it.So he paid Bruce a visit.
Now Bruce was a rich man and he bought a big palatial bunglow.A few days after he had moved in,he made an unusual friend who had been living in the bunglow for scores of years.
After Shyamalan had been let into Bruce's house,he made himself comfortable.He was impressed by these spooky settings and decided that Bruce was the man.While he was thinking about this,he heard a noise behind him.
He turned around saying , "Bruce,I think you are the.......".
What greeted him was a sheet of extoplasm.And then the ectoplasm spoke, " Hi! My name is Casper and I would like to be friends with you."
As Bruce was coming down the stairs,he caught sight of Manoj who was running at breakneck speed screaming "I seeee dead people!! I see dead people!!!"
And he was never to be heard from again.
Crack.
Gollum stopped dead in his tracks.
"Who is there....", he mumbled.He clutched onto the ring as he devored it with his eyes.
"You think that is a ring you are staring at ,Gollum?".
Gollum glared at Morpheus, who was busy putting on his glares.
"Get away from me nasties!", Gollum snarled.
Morpheus looked at Gollum with such a lack of expression that it was an expression by itself.
"Tell me Gollum,is that a ring you are staring at?"
Gollum looked at Morpheus as if he was staring at Banquo's ghost.
"Don't ask Smeagol.Poor,poor Smeagol....me thinks it is a ring."
Morpheus started again : "Don't think it is...know it...'".Before he could finish his sentence,a Nazgul swept over Morpheus and swallowed him up in one go.
"Noooooooooooo........",Neo shouthed.
Trinity looked slightly relieved.She couldn't stand his philosphical ramblings anyways.
Neo ran like the wind and provoked the Nazgul
"Come on Sentinel...eat me up too.Or do you only eat androgynous men who spew their life's discontent at you.Huh...what's the matter with you,why do you look so zapped..and why are you staring the the sky,you dodo.Look at me.Now!"
Not being able to ellicit a reponse,he gazed skywards and almost crapped in his pants.
"What the...."
A fleet of alien spaceships was hurling towards them.
Neo looked around for the nearest phonebooth and spotted it.He put on his D&G glares and ran towards it.Trinity was already in it....tring...not anymore.
As Neo ran towards the booth,he could hear his glares talking to him : "This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds."
Not knowing what to make of it,he still ran towards the booth.As the phone rang once,his glares exploded and he wailed like a girl.
"My eyesssss......my eyes.......".
Somehow he got to the reciever and was zoomed back to the mothercraft.Now we know how he was actually blinded in the movie.
While all of this was happening,Agent M had already arrived on the scene.He looked at the spacecraft and talked to his phone : "Damnnnn it!We have a Code 11.I repeat,we have a Code 11.I will do my best to contain the situation over here while you guys haggle it out with the Bushwhackers as to why they have invaded Mordor.I thought we made it clear to them that these people do not have WMD's.All they have is orcs and olephants!"
Saying this,he flung his phone in frustration and walked towards Gollum and the Nazgul.
"Okay people.This is a demo as to how you can avoid constipation during an emergency crisis."
Gollum looked slightly nonplussed while the Nazgul stared on with interest.The fledgling he just ate was creating quite a ruckus in his stomach.
"I want you guys to look at the red light.And when I say squeeze,look at this light and try to crap."
Shouting out "Squeeze",he pressed the button.
*Flash*.
"Now all I have to do is alter their memories.I'll call over to the HQ and ask them to send me that talking donkey who fell in love with the dragon.That should take care of the Nazgul...."
What M didn't know was that the Nazgul was a male.Happy life,Eddie!
And M sort of liked Gollum and decided to make him his pet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
M.K.Shyamalan decided to make a movie.He wanted Bruce Willis to act in it.So he paid Bruce a visit.
Now Bruce was a rich man and he bought a big palatial bunglow.A few days after he had moved in,he made an unusual friend who had been living in the bunglow for scores of years.
After Shyamalan had been let into Bruce's house,he made himself comfortable.He was impressed by these spooky settings and decided that Bruce was the man.While he was thinking about this,he heard a noise behind him.
He turned around saying , "Bruce,I think you are the.......".
What greeted him was a sheet of extoplasm.And then the ectoplasm spoke, " Hi! My name is Casper and I would like to be friends with you."
As Bruce was coming down the stairs,he caught sight of Manoj who was running at breakneck speed screaming "I seeee dead people!! I see dead people!!!"
And he was never to be heard from again.
This entry was posted
on Saturday, August 14, 2004 at 12:15 PM.
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