The post about nothing - Part II
I lied.This post is about something.Something close,personal and touching.Hey..before you reach out for the Kleenex,I suggest you hear me out.This post is about something close,touching and personal.It's called an underwear.
I haven't gone nuts.My post pertains to the subject of underwears.Not in its direct form,but the way it is being marketed in some of the ads.It seems like most of these underwear ad-makers are a synapse away from being an idiot.It is one of the most easiest thing to market yet they make such a big fool of themselves that its laughable.
Before all you pro-underwear wearers lodge a FIR against me for making a mockery of such a serious issue,let me make my opinions about undies very clear:
1. It's good hygiene(even better with the bacteria proof jockeys we get nowadays...it's almost as if we dont have to wash it!).
2. Prevents you from zipping up your jeans with your member tucked away safely
3. Makes wrestling look cool.
So I am very much pro-jockey(sorry macha...but I do suffer from the dire consequences you keep harping about all day).Now that I have cleared up some things,lets get down to business.
Most of the ads I see on TV, pertaining to the subject of jockeys, ranges from moronic to moronic.There are very few ads which are in good taste(pardon my language...but do not take it literally).The ones which really stand out are the VIP ones....hands-free comfort.
Anyways,back to my spiteful post on these ads.Let me take your through some of the more infamous ones :
Brand 1 : TRY
The more recent brand to take heads on in the Indian market.Their ad is doing round these days and gets quite a lot of airtime.In their ad,we get to see some girls throwing a basket ball over the wall because there are some scantily clad,gay-like dudes sitting in their underwears.There are around 4 gilrs taking turns throwing the ball over the wall and shouting out "Ball please.".I heard that somewhere in Utopia,a scantily clad,unkempt obese dude tried this same trick on some girls playing basketball.The only difference is that the same guy was heard repeating "Bail please." to the local magistrate.
To clear up the ambiguity about the safety factor on trying out this ad in real life,the ad should come with a disclaimer : Try this only at home.And if you get your dirty little wanker in jail,do not blame it on us 'cause we warned you.
Rating on the moron meter : 9/10
Brand 2 : Euro frontline briefs.
One of the veteran briefs in this country.It's seen the ups and ups of the country with a great deal of courage.However their ad still sucks.
Imagine a guy wandering through , what seems to me like a mall , in search of a restroom to unload his pile of rubbish.After going through a lot of alleys he find stumbles upon a men's room.The only catch is that some devious females had covered up the "WO" of the "WOMEN'S sign hoping to snare a live one.But they had to settle for some rather desperate guy in need of a loo.I am sure that he would have been running to the stall shouting out "Hallelujah...".But I thought wrong.Our full-of-shit guy has enough time to take off his shirt and pant and wait on a couch to be assaulted by women.What the hell...! How the heck did he know that some chicks lay in wait for him.Or wait...since he thought it was a guy's room and removed his dress,maybe he was waiting for unsuspecting straight and gay men to launch an assault at.That would make sense.So when the chicks actually get to plant kisses on this guy,it was more of a sexual assualt(atleast for the guy's orientation) than a dance of pleasure.So that's what they mean by "Prepare to get assualted".What a load of tosh.....and they expect us to assualt their sales graph.
Rating on the moron meter : 25/10
Brand 3 : Unknown brand but one you must have seen
One of the less prominent ads seen on the TV.This one caters to the amnesiac "sophisticated" corporate hunchos.
Picture a dull and dreary day in Moscow.A lot pf pigeons and old women walking around beautifully carved road.Pan towards a silver colored limo which pulls up in front of the camera.A glimpse through the window of the limo hints towards a bespectacled gentleman reeking of money.For all its worth,his name may be Moneydir Rubleloschov.The chauffer , a smartly dressed fellow , gets out to let his master out.The door opens and our eyes are treated to a scrawny looking guy with an expensive coat and tie but no trousers.That's right..Mr.Moneydir likes to show off the other side of his wealth by wandering around in his black underwears.I am sure he made much of his money by scaring off his clients to sign the deal with the adventitious roots sprouting off the edges off his underwear.And that he walked down the aisle with a nice suit and brand new underwear.He might have insisted on a "proper" dress code for all the parties concerned.And then people wonder why priests turn out to be gay.
Anyways,coming back to the point.Here we have,Mr.Moneydir in all his glory.He gets up in the morning,takes a nice shower and prepares to go to work.Since he is Mr.Money,he must dress to kill.So he takes out the fanciest suit he has,a matching tie to go with his suit.He looks into the mirror and fixes his tie and gels his hair.And yet he forgets to put on his pants!Ohhh...don't give me bullshit about the underwear being so comfortable that you didnt realize that you didn't have your pants on.I feel so comfortable in my birthday suit that I forget I do not have my clothes on.But you do not find me wandering down the hallowed halls of St.Xaviers advertising my inclusion to the Vedantic Nudist Colony, do you?
And that his chauffer let him humiliate himself in front of his peers.Ohh...he forgot to give him his monthly wages.No wonder on his blunder.While all of this unfolds before my eyes,my mind wishes for one thing and one thing alone : Enough of Glasnost and Perestroika,shoot that bugger down and parade him in front of his underwear provider.That should teach them a lesson.We care about comfort but not at the expense of you thrusting your privates into my unseeing eyes.
Rating on the moron meter : The meter cracked.
Now that we have come to the end of my rant on the unglorious conquests of the ad world,I shall await for your responses.Till then...ciao
I haven't gone nuts.My post pertains to the subject of underwears.Not in its direct form,but the way it is being marketed in some of the ads.It seems like most of these underwear ad-makers are a synapse away from being an idiot.It is one of the most easiest thing to market yet they make such a big fool of themselves that its laughable.
Before all you pro-underwear wearers lodge a FIR against me for making a mockery of such a serious issue,let me make my opinions about undies very clear:
1. It's good hygiene(even better with the bacteria proof jockeys we get nowadays...it's almost as if we dont have to wash it!).
2. Prevents you from zipping up your jeans with your member tucked away safely
3. Makes wrestling look cool.
So I am very much pro-jockey(sorry macha...but I do suffer from the dire consequences you keep harping about all day).Now that I have cleared up some things,lets get down to business.
Most of the ads I see on TV, pertaining to the subject of jockeys, ranges from moronic to moronic.There are very few ads which are in good taste(pardon my language...but do not take it literally).The ones which really stand out are the VIP ones....hands-free comfort.
Anyways,back to my spiteful post on these ads.Let me take your through some of the more infamous ones :
Brand 1 : TRY
The more recent brand to take heads on in the Indian market.Their ad is doing round these days and gets quite a lot of airtime.In their ad,we get to see some girls throwing a basket ball over the wall because there are some scantily clad,gay-like dudes sitting in their underwears.There are around 4 gilrs taking turns throwing the ball over the wall and shouting out "Ball please.".I heard that somewhere in Utopia,a scantily clad,unkempt obese dude tried this same trick on some girls playing basketball.The only difference is that the same guy was heard repeating "Bail please." to the local magistrate.
To clear up the ambiguity about the safety factor on trying out this ad in real life,the ad should come with a disclaimer : Try this only at home.And if you get your dirty little wanker in jail,do not blame it on us 'cause we warned you.
Rating on the moron meter : 9/10
Brand 2 : Euro frontline briefs.
One of the veteran briefs in this country.It's seen the ups and ups of the country with a great deal of courage.However their ad still sucks.
Imagine a guy wandering through , what seems to me like a mall , in search of a restroom to unload his pile of rubbish.After going through a lot of alleys he find stumbles upon a men's room.The only catch is that some devious females had covered up the "WO" of the "WOMEN'S sign hoping to snare a live one.But they had to settle for some rather desperate guy in need of a loo.I am sure that he would have been running to the stall shouting out "Hallelujah...".But I thought wrong.Our full-of-shit guy has enough time to take off his shirt and pant and wait on a couch to be assaulted by women.What the hell...! How the heck did he know that some chicks lay in wait for him.Or wait...since he thought it was a guy's room and removed his dress,maybe he was waiting for unsuspecting straight and gay men to launch an assault at.That would make sense.So when the chicks actually get to plant kisses on this guy,it was more of a sexual assualt(atleast for the guy's orientation) than a dance of pleasure.So that's what they mean by "Prepare to get assualted".What a load of tosh.....and they expect us to assualt their sales graph.
Rating on the moron meter : 25/10
Brand 3 : Unknown brand but one you must have seen
One of the less prominent ads seen on the TV.This one caters to the amnesiac "sophisticated" corporate hunchos.
Picture a dull and dreary day in Moscow.A lot pf pigeons and old women walking around beautifully carved road.Pan towards a silver colored limo which pulls up in front of the camera.A glimpse through the window of the limo hints towards a bespectacled gentleman reeking of money.For all its worth,his name may be Moneydir Rubleloschov.The chauffer , a smartly dressed fellow , gets out to let his master out.The door opens and our eyes are treated to a scrawny looking guy with an expensive coat and tie but no trousers.That's right..Mr.Moneydir likes to show off the other side of his wealth by wandering around in his black underwears.I am sure he made much of his money by scaring off his clients to sign the deal with the adventitious roots sprouting off the edges off his underwear.And that he walked down the aisle with a nice suit and brand new underwear.He might have insisted on a "proper" dress code for all the parties concerned.And then people wonder why priests turn out to be gay.
Anyways,coming back to the point.Here we have,Mr.Moneydir in all his glory.He gets up in the morning,takes a nice shower and prepares to go to work.Since he is Mr.Money,he must dress to kill.So he takes out the fanciest suit he has,a matching tie to go with his suit.He looks into the mirror and fixes his tie and gels his hair.And yet he forgets to put on his pants!Ohhh...don't give me bullshit about the underwear being so comfortable that you didnt realize that you didn't have your pants on.I feel so comfortable in my birthday suit that I forget I do not have my clothes on.But you do not find me wandering down the hallowed halls of St.Xaviers advertising my inclusion to the Vedantic Nudist Colony, do you?
And that his chauffer let him humiliate himself in front of his peers.Ohh...he forgot to give him his monthly wages.No wonder on his blunder.While all of this unfolds before my eyes,my mind wishes for one thing and one thing alone : Enough of Glasnost and Perestroika,shoot that bugger down and parade him in front of his underwear provider.That should teach them a lesson.We care about comfort but not at the expense of you thrusting your privates into my unseeing eyes.
Rating on the moron meter : The meter cracked.
Now that we have come to the end of my rant on the unglorious conquests of the ad world,I shall await for your responses.Till then...ciao
This entry was posted
on Saturday, June 26, 2004 at 8:32 PM.
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