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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Push

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh......ughhhhhhhhhhh," I screamed in agony.

I had been laboring hard for half-an-hour with no just reward.I screamed out to the doctor that I couldn't push anymore.

"You are so close....so very close.You cannot give up now..." , the doctor coaxed.

"I don't give a damn as to how close I am.Infact,as of now,it's me who is closed!!" , I said emphatically.

"Come on now,don't be so childish.I know how you are feeling right now...but in a few moments,it will all be over."

I was about to hurl out obscenities at my empatizing doctor,but a wave of contraction shut me up quick.Grinding my teeth,I pushed harder.

As I pushed,I was thinking about what the doctor had said.He claimed to know how I felt.Ha! That's the best joke I have ever heard.No one knows how it feels,feeling full all the time and never knowing when the inevitable is going to happen.And when the inevitable does happen,its so draining that you feel nothing once the ordeal is over.You are just happy not to push anymore,happy to let you a spasm of laziness spread over you.

"You are almost there...a few more pushes and you are good to go." , the doctor screamed.

I looked over towards the doctor and he flashed a benign smile at me.

Get me a gun....anyone......

As many more violent thoughts entertained my mind,I felt something coming out.

"What is it??? What is it......", I screamed at the doctor.No sooner had I finished my brawl did I feel more coming out.

"Is it out yet?Has the lecherous thing finally decided to make its entry?!"

The doctor looked down and smiled.He mouthed out a congratulations and beckoned me to looked down.As my eyes went earthwards,tears of joy ran down my cheek.I looked down at the immobile thing.

Never before did I feel more happy at the sight of my own feces.
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