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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Sticky Wicket

"Who do you think took it?"

"It could be anyone."

"That isn't very helpful, you know."

"It could be you."

"You have a point but I didn't take it."

"Neither did I."

"Alright, that rules out the two of us. Who else do you think was interested in the condom?"

"Dad?"

"He must have been because we sort of stole it from him but it-"

"I think it would be better if you put it as "borrowed" it."

"I can imagine his face when you say, "Here's the condom we borrowed, Dad!" "

"What do you mean by "I say"? You're the elder one so-"

"By six minutes!"

"Nevermind that.What will we tell Dad?"

"We borrowed it for sometime; it's like borrowing a pen for school"

"We didn't use it though."

"That would please Dad even more. We'd be returning the borrowed goods almost as good as new."

"But how would we explain the tear on the pack?"

"We could tell him that we ran out of glue..."

"I don't think he'd buy it but even if he did, how will we explain the bite marks on it?"

"I don't think he'd notice it."

"If he doesn't before using it, we'd certainly notice it sooner rather than later on Mom."

"Maybe we should tell him the truth."

"That we told Bradley it was a new type of fruit-flavored chewing gum?"

"Let's skip the "we told Bradley" bit."

"Alright. But he did seem to enjoy it before I had to pinch his tits to get him open his mouth."

"If I were you, I'd stay away from him for that. I think he enjoyed that as well."

"Right now, he is the least of our worries. Think about the rubber!"

"Yeah, we should be thinking outside the box."

"Quit kidding around, Jake. This is serious!"

"I know; if I had the rubber, there would be no reason to kid around. Get it? Kid around..."

"Ohhh brother..."

"Yeah?"

"Wha-? Just shut up and think."

"It could be merv the Perv, you know?"

"Hmm... you could be right. He was stretching it and mutterting "too small" and "must investigate" the whole time..."

"Ewww, do you think he could have ... you know, tried it on?"

"We'll have to get it back to know for certain."

"Why don't we just buy a new pack for Dad?"

"Won't he get suspicious to find ten instead of one?"

"I don't think he' be complaining too much about it..."

"Mom might."

"Shut up, Jake."
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