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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Dear Disgusting Train Traveller,

I see that you enjoy sitting by the window.

Yes, the view can be quite breath-taking.The site of burly,unkempt men shitting themselves silly by the railway tracks requires just that.A big breath of air to be taken in,cherised as if it were going to be your last for the next 30 seconds.

Then there are the times when little kids by the track flash their little weenies at you, shouting out names that would make you and your best friend blush.

Those were the times....

But this isn't what it's about.

I enjoy sitting by the window, taking in the sights.I still do.

As a matter of fact, I am enjoying the view as we speak.

Ohhh, look.

I can feel specks of rain lashing against my cheek.But that's strange as I can't see any rain on the otherside of the window.Infact, I can't even see any clouds ganging up against the horizon.

What's that?

You have the answer to explain the mysterious rain droplets.Yes, please enlighten me.

Ohhh, that was you...ermm....sneezing.

Ahhh, that makes so much more sense 'cause I thought that there was a cloudburst in Somalia and the rain drops managed to transcend all boundaries.

Ohhh, I cracked a funny eh?

Stop smiling, you friggin idiot! There are certain privileges when it comes to sitting with the wind.I'll try my best to educate you on this one.

You see the white cloth flapping against your breast pocket.Reach for it.

It's called the handkerchief.

Ohhh my Lord, I think I just saw a flicker of recognition flash across your eyes.Will miracles never cease?

Place it over your mouth as you feel a sneeze coming.And please, trim the Hanging Gardens of Noseylon.No, I don't care if you are going to Ripley's for the longest nosehair ever recorded by travelling retards.

Now sneeze.

Magic!

Not a single drop of your scum juice splattered over my face.

Good, now I can enjoy the sights and sound of my train ride without worring if my co-passenger is afflicted with TB.

Wait, what are you upto now?No no no, you cannot put your finger in your........

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