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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

New Age Fantasy

Rotter has got a complaint to make so he goes to Bumblebore's office

*knock knock*

Bumblebore: Come in.

Rotter walks in

Bumblebore: I should have known it would be you, scarface.

Rotter: I would avoid the name-calling, sir.

Bumblebore: So you would, jungleweed. But I'm the supreme authority over here and I shall do as I please, scarface.

Rotter: Very well. But I should let the 'supreme authority' know that wearing robes which are made up of flower themes is rather gay.

Bumblebore: So you are implying that you find me attractive, 0-gay-wan Rotter?

Rotter: Please sir; if we actually talk about why we are here we might not have to fight with our wands.

Bumblebore: But I like to fight with wands, Rotter.

Rotter: Whatever, old man. Now look, I have a complaint to make.

Bumblebore: Which is?

Rotter: The new Defense against the Dark Arts professor has failed me inspite of my good showing.

Bumblebore summons the professor

Bumblebore: So what do you have to say to young Rotter, Professor.

Handalf (to Rotter): You shall not PASS. *waves his wand*

Bumblebore: Now now, Handalf. Rotter is not a threat to the Republic; you should pass him.

Handalf: Sorry Chancellor; you are either with us or against us on this one. He-who-shall-not-be-named grows stronger by the minute. I am afraid that he has been taking a lot of steroids.

Bumblebore: Come off it, Handalf. Darth Bushius is no longer a threat; accept that.

Handalf: I have definite proof from the Republican Intelligence Agency(RIA) that Darth Bushius is trying to lure young O-gay-wan to the daft side. If we do not act quickly, young Rotter will no longer be with the Farce; the daft side grows stronger.

Bumblebore: What does the Yadi-Yadi-Yada council have to say about this, Handalf?

Handalf: That young O-gay-wan cannot be made a prefect.

Bumblebore (to Rotter): Young Rotter, I'm sure that Ho-da must have made this decision under extreme duress; but chin up. The sooner we get rid of Darth Bushius, the sooner will you become a prefect.

Rotter thinks to self

Rotter: I do not know what to do, Har-har-mione. The Yadi-Yadi-Yada council does not trust me.

Har-har-mione: Yousa don't worry. I trustsa you; you feelsa my chest?

Rotter stops thinking and starts fantasizing about the pity sex he will have with Har-har-mione

Bumblebore (To Rotter): Young Rotter; I hereby announce that you shall be an apprentice to Master Trump.

Bumblebore summons Master Trump

Bumblebore: Master Trump, from today, young Rotter will be your apprentice. Teach him well.

Trump (To Rotter): Now that you are my apprentice, I suggest that you carry a bottle of hand sanitizer every day. It's the secret to becoming a prefect; if you don't do as I suggest, I shall have to call you to the council room because loose cannons arent meant to become Masters'.

Rotter: I shall do as you ask me to do, Master Trump.

Bumblebore: Master Trump, I heard that Senator Stewart is also looking for an apprentice. Is that so?

Trump: You heard right, Chancellor.

Bumblebore (To Handalf): Isn't Dildo Baggins lookin after young Fruitcake Baggins? maybe young Fruitcake can become her apprentice.

Handalf: You may be right, Chancellor. I shall leave for the Mire and look for Didlo and Fruitcake.

Bumblebore: Take care, Handalf. If what you say is true, Darth Bushius would be aware of every move we make. Protect Fruitcake at all costs and make sure that Darth Bushius doesn't get his hand on the One Ring of Mass Destruction that Didlo possesses.

Rotter interjects

Rotter: So it's true, Chancellor.

Bumblebore: What is, young Rotter?

Rotter: That Fruitcake is the half-bred prince?

Bumblebore: You didn't hear that from me, Young Rotter. You cannot tell this to anyone; not even your friends, Porn Wheezly and Har-Har. Also, I wouldn't tell Professor Howling about this either because if she knows, then Trollkein would be mighty pissed that they know.

Rotter: Fair enough, sir.

Bumblebore: Another thing, Rotter. Although you have stated that Dragqueen Malfly and his father are in cahoots with Darth Bushius, we cannot take any action against them. Stay away from them and as long as you are in Bogs-n-warts, you shall be be safe

Rotter marches out of the office
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