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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Internal Dialogues - II

Previously on Internal Dialogues

"Should I or shouldn't I; should I or shouldn't I; should I or shouldn't I"
"What's up, dickhead?"
"What the..."
"It's me again; your innervice."
"Innervice?!?"
"I meant innervoice; it's called a freudian slip."
"I figured as much."
"If you can figure as much, why the hell did you have to ask me about it, peabrain?"
"Aren't you forgetting the little pact we had before; about being nice to each other."
"Ahh yes; the crybaby can't take a little flak."
"You are such an asshole for an innervoice, you know that?"
"I can only try; besides what were you deliberating about?"
"I wasn't deliberating about anything at all."
"Of course you were; what's with the should I's and shouldn't I's?"
"You are my innervoice; you tell me what it was all about."
"I'm your innervoice, not a magic eight-ball; you talk to me about the issue and I'll help you screw it up."
"Screw it up?!?"
"Damn these freudian slips!!"
"....."
"I swear, I really do; it was a freudian slip; I'm here for one thing and one thing alone: to help you make vice decisions."
"Vice or wise?"
"Vice."
"Spell it out for me please; I don't trust you anymore."
"Awwww c'mon man, have you sunk so low that you will question my integrity?!?"
"I didn't know you had any integrity; glad to know it exists in your dictionary."
"Haha; you really crack me up."
"Just going by the Bible; do unto to thy neighbor as you would do unto thyself."
"Hmmmm...; interesting."
"What is?!?"
"I know that you like to wank off; so that's do unto thyself; so does that mean do unto thy neighbor...."
"You have been seeing way too many porno movies, dude."
"When you mean you, you know you actually mean we; right?"
"Ummm..."
"Nevermind.Speaking of porno, did you think of XXX-2?"
"Ohh man, it sucked big time; but what does XXX and porno have in common other than the title?!?"
"I'll tell ya; XXX-2 was like a porno-action movie."
"What?!?"
"Yeah dude; there's this climax every ten minutes and you know it's all fake; it can't get more porno than that!"
"Ha; you aren't such bad company sometimes."
"I would be nicer if you weren't such an ignoramus."
"I knew you would say something like that."
"Anyways, what were you thinking about before I came to your rescue."
"Came to my rescue?!?"
"You know; thinking and you don't go so well."
"I am running out of profanities that I can shower upon thy divine self."
"I have quite a few in reserve, dickweed."
"...."
"Dickweed?Dickweed?Earth to dickweed, Earth to dickweed."
"....."
"Sometimes I wish I could have an out of body experience."
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