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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Bullies And Us

It hadn't been a good day; the pop quiz we had was shitty and the Professor even more shitty.The bell went off; reviving, in all of us, the part that was humane.

Ninad, Tony and me grabbed our books and headed off towards the water cooler.The three of us were discussing about how we were going to assassinate our professors when some seniors ran past us laughing like crazy.

"This is us two years from now," I told them.
"No, crazy..."

This evoked some pity laugh from them; not because the joke was sad but the fact that I was.

Ninad tried to imitate the crazies who had just ran past us laughing.We walked ahead, laughing.However, it seems like the crazies had heard Ninad imitating them and had decided to take offense.

So just as we hit the water cooler the crazies hit us.Well, they didn't hit us hit us but they still hit us.They knew that it was Ninad who had been laughing at their laugh and unlike some people who enjoy a good laugh, they cornered us with pens in their hand.

It wasn't that we were scared but hey, a pen is mightier than a sword.And besides that, I think they wanted to write us off.....

They were two and we were three but since they were seniors, we thought it might be smarter to act more responsibly.It's a known fact that seniors have their heads up their arse which would explain why they are so full of shit.

Well, they were still two and none the prettier.

Shitface #1 seemed like the stereotyped bully; a face that could have been mistaken for a Halloween mask, a body that could have been mistaken for a beached whale, a brain that could have been mistaken for a vestigial organ.

Shitface #2 was more the jock type; muscles at all the wrong places.

Shitface #2 bellowed out at Ninad:

"Who the fuck were you mocking?"
"Mocking? We weren't mocking anybody, just having a good time with each other"
"We heard you mock us, you lard of fat"

Now now, Ninad wasn't really fat and he is slightly cocky as well:

"Shitface #1, I think he is talking to you"

Shitface #1 awakens from his slumber and stares at Ninad rasther blankly.

"Why do you say that?"
"He said lard of fat, I thought he was referring to you rather affectionately"

Shitface #2 is enraged; he eyes crinkle up, nose flares up and he starts blustering rather stupidly.He looks somewhat like this:

Shitface #1 is confused; is the fight with us or with Shitface #2?

While all of this was going on, Tony and I were by the wayside struggling to keep our laughter down.Tony decides to step in while I still struggle with the laughter.

"Guys, guys; relax.We weren't mocking anybody and even if you think we were, we are sorry"

A diplomat in the making.

Shitface #2 isn't happy.

"You juniors think that you are the bloody maharajahs of the college; somebody needs to teach you all a good lesson..."
"That's what our professors do; maybe you guys have been skipping too many classes," Ninad quips.
"You insolent little prats; first you mock us and now you taunt us...."
"About the mocking we ain't so sure but taunting.."

Shitface #1 seems to have come to speed with the happenings.He grabs Ninad by the collar:

"Which year, punk?"

He brings Ninad closer to his face; Ninad later recounts that he saw maggots in his mouth

"Stop acting smart and answer my question; which year students are you?"
"Ahhh...err.... first year"

Actually, we were in the second year but Ninad wants to have some more fun.

"Show me your ID, punk"
"Because I want to be your special friend, punk"

I don't know which year Shitface #1 was living in so I quip in:

"Isn't Clink Eastwood a little passé, punk?"

Shitface #1 releases Ninad and glares at us; unsure who said this; brain overload is a possible candidate.

"You guys stay out of this; it's between this joker and us"

Speaking of us, Shitface #2 comes into his own.

"Show us the ID, loser" (To Ninad)
"I appreciate that you want to be my special friend but even Dean wanted to be my special friend; he took away my ID this morning"

Shitfaces look unconvinced; rightly so.

."Stop acting fresh with us, fresher or we might have to teach you some lessons...."
"Speaking of ID's, can I see your identification now?I'm not really convinced you are our seniors," Ninad retorts.

Shitfaces are looking at us, incredulous.It seems like they are surprised to know that we have something known as balls.

"You want to see our ID; a fresher wants to ID his senior??"
"Yes please; if you have problems understanding I can repeat the words I say slowly.S-H-O-W U-S Y-O-U....."
"Enough of this nonsense; aren't you juniors late for you class?"

Wow; talk about turnarounds.

"Not as late as you peeps are"
"We let you guys off for now; if we find you mocking any seniors again, we might have to take things into our hands..."
"C'mon guys, no need to talk about sexual abuse; we will try to stay out of your way and you guys keep your things to yourself"
"Finally; we talked some sense into you freshers"

Shitfaces walk away; and we tank up our bottles with water.

It hadn't been such a bad day after all.
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