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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Return

That's strange, I thought to myself.

I was feeling a little woozy; a little out of breath.I became more acutely aware of my surroundings as the noose tightened around my neck.I could feel the bile rushing into my mouth; it lashed against my teeth as waves do against wavebreakers.Torrents of bile sloshed along my tongue; it felt bitter than ever.

The hands eased itself around my neck; it's vice-like grip accentuated the feeling of helplessness I was wallowing in.I sucked in as much of air as I could and then a wave of nausea hit me.

I staggered in vain as I tried to fight off my captor; I had been measured and I was found wanting.

Don't worry folks; this is just a general description of what altitude sickness is all about.These were some of my feelings as I struggled with altitude sickness the last time I was on a trek.It wasn't pretty and it's safe to say that I would rather dance naked with a tribe that cannibalizes on people who dance naked than go over the entire affair of feeling mountain sick again.

While on the trek, a couple of incidents come to my mind.

We were a group of eight.Most of us were first-timers; the enormity of the occasion still escapes many.

So there we were; wheezing along the trail like asthmatics.While our eyes were being treated to the most amazing of vista's one could envision, our lungs were being delivered knock-out punches.

I was feeling rather knackered so I chatted up with a pal of mine who was in front of me:

"So, how high have you been before this?"
"I think this is about the highest I've been; 14000 feet"
"Impressive"
"What about you?"
"I've been higher."
"Really?How high?" (incredulity laced his words)
"Hmmmm.... about 35,00 feet"
"Impossible!" (wheezing incredulity laced his words)
"So you have never ever been on a plane before?"

I swear that if I had been in front of my friend he would have pushed me off the cliff.

On our way, we stayed over in an ashram where several other travellers were also being housed.Well, it was time for dinner and all of us assembled in the community hall.There was no electricity, as one would expect as 14,000 feet, and most of us had to recognize each other via body odors or body gropes.

Anyway, we squated down on the cold floor as our knees bounced off each others.Some of my friends were sitting across of me and, well, they had some other weary travellers sitting next to them.

One such traveller was struggling to fit himself next to my friend.My friend, being as generous and kind-hearted as he is, shifted his frozen butt cheeks a little to accomodate the other dude.However, his efforts went unappreciated as the dude hardly noticed my friend moving away.He should have left it at that but then he said these words:

"You can spread your legs now."

These words, under any circumstances, sound rather suspicious.But when it is being growled out at you by an absolute stranger in an alien place which is shrouded in darkness, I was rather surprised that all the person did was scream and run away.
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