Drunk Dialling: Yoda
Trring Trring
*Click*
"Not at home I am; leave a message you will; prank call if this is, roast your weenie I will."
Me: *wheeze*
Whrrr
*Click*
Yoda (alert): Darth vader it is?
Me: *wheeze*
Yoda: Speak you must or else kick butt I will.
Me: Chill out, Yods. It's me, Rohit.
Yoda: Rohit it is?
Me: Yeah; the guy from Earth; you know, from where you got all the CD's from.
Yoda: Ahh yes, remember I do. The earthling who sold me the CD's with Dr. Cock you are.
Me: Dr. Spock, Yods. Not Dr. Cock.
Yoda: Dr.Spock or Dr. Cock; boring it was. Preferr Baywatch I did.
Me: *wheeze*
Yoda: Impersonate Darth vader you must not.
Me: Well, I have ulcers in my mouth so I sorta slurp and wheeze now and then, Yods.
Yoda: Call me Yods do not. have any reasons for calling me up do you?
Me: I thought we could talk.
Yoda: Talk I do when talk I want to.
Me: Well, I thought you might want to talk to me. After what you told me the other day ...
Yoda: Shhhh, not mention that you will.
Me: Relax, Yods. It happens to the best of them and you aren't a young *cough* monkeyhobbitjedithing *cough*, you know.
Yoda: Not young I am but not too old either. Mighty pissed she was.
Me: And understandably so.
Yoda: On whose side you are?
Me: Your side I am; but sympathize I must, Yods.
Yoda: Not mock Galactic Basic you must.
Me: Don't change the topic. So big deal; you and the senator were going at it and then you realized that the Force was not with you.
Yoda: Big disappointment it was.
Me: Like I said; you didn't measure up to it on that day.
Yoda: Not make fun of my height you will. Never happened to me in 900 years this has; young Luke, was mighty disappointed. So shaken up I was; sent young Skywalker to fight Vader I did; You are a Jedi now I said. Bless him, leave me a bottle of Viagra he did.
Me: Wow; so did the magic pill do the trick?
Yoda: Raised my expectations it did but went down soon it did. Again, mighty pissed she was. Abandoned me it has, the Force. So, the Jenna Jameson CD I saw.
Me: You mean "we saw", right?
Yoda: Only me who saw the CD it was. She has the Force with her I think; made my thing do funny things she did.
Me: Where was Amidala all this while?
Yoda: A little talk while she was stroking we had; not very happy she was. Always complaining about men these days she was; bitching she was and thinking about the new Starmates I was. Asked me something she did; know she had talked to me I did not. Whacked me she did and asked me to pay attention.
Me (spellbound): Then?
Yoda: "Bitch, leave me alone" said I. Confounded she was but find her voice she did. Started to bitch about me this time she did. Levitate I did; asked her if she was in that time of the month.
Me: Ha! That should teach the hag some manners; you did well, Yods.
Yoda: Make a note you must; never imply that she is going through that time of the month while she holds the passport to your future in her hands you must. very painful it was; the consequences.
Me: What do you mean?
Yoda: Leave I must; here with the prosthectics she is; the nurse.
Me: Prosthectics?
Yoda: Does not care about the age it does. Windu be happy he must.
Me: Windu?
Background: Yousa lika the new thinga?
Yoda: *Shush, Jar Jar*; Go I must; may the Force be with you.
Me: Jar Jar?
*Click*
*Click*
"Not at home I am; leave a message you will; prank call if this is, roast your weenie I will."
Me: *wheeze*
Whrrr
*Click*
Yoda (alert): Darth vader it is?
Me: *wheeze*
Yoda: Speak you must or else kick butt I will.
Me: Chill out, Yods. It's me, Rohit.
Yoda: Rohit it is?
Me: Yeah; the guy from Earth; you know, from where you got all the CD's from.
Yoda: Ahh yes, remember I do. The earthling who sold me the CD's with Dr. Cock you are.
Me: Dr. Spock, Yods. Not Dr. Cock.
Yoda: Dr.Spock or Dr. Cock; boring it was. Preferr Baywatch I did.
Me: *wheeze*
Yoda: Impersonate Darth vader you must not.
Me: Well, I have ulcers in my mouth so I sorta slurp and wheeze now and then, Yods.
Yoda: Call me Yods do not. have any reasons for calling me up do you?
Me: I thought we could talk.
Yoda: Talk I do when talk I want to.
Me: Well, I thought you might want to talk to me. After what you told me the other day ...
Yoda: Shhhh, not mention that you will.
Me: Relax, Yods. It happens to the best of them and you aren't a young *cough* monkeyhobbitjedithing *cough*, you know.
Yoda: Not young I am but not too old either. Mighty pissed she was.
Me: And understandably so.
Yoda: On whose side you are?
Me: Your side I am; but sympathize I must, Yods.
Yoda: Not mock Galactic Basic you must.
Me: Don't change the topic. So big deal; you and the senator were going at it and then you realized that the Force was not with you.
Yoda: Big disappointment it was.
Me: Like I said; you didn't measure up to it on that day.
Yoda: Not make fun of my height you will. Never happened to me in 900 years this has; young Luke, was mighty disappointed. So shaken up I was; sent young Skywalker to fight Vader I did; You are a Jedi now I said. Bless him, leave me a bottle of Viagra he did.
Me: Wow; so did the magic pill do the trick?
Yoda: Raised my expectations it did but went down soon it did. Again, mighty pissed she was. Abandoned me it has, the Force. So, the Jenna Jameson CD I saw.
Me: You mean "we saw", right?
Yoda: Only me who saw the CD it was. She has the Force with her I think; made my thing do funny things she did.
Me: Where was Amidala all this while?
Yoda: A little talk while she was stroking we had; not very happy she was. Always complaining about men these days she was; bitching she was and thinking about the new Starmates I was. Asked me something she did; know she had talked to me I did not. Whacked me she did and asked me to pay attention.
Me (spellbound): Then?
Yoda: "Bitch, leave me alone" said I. Confounded she was but find her voice she did. Started to bitch about me this time she did. Levitate I did; asked her if she was in that time of the month.
Me: Ha! That should teach the hag some manners; you did well, Yods.
Yoda: Make a note you must; never imply that she is going through that time of the month while she holds the passport to your future in her hands you must. very painful it was; the consequences.
Me: What do you mean?
Yoda: Leave I must; here with the prosthectics she is; the nurse.
Me: Prosthectics?
Yoda: Does not care about the age it does. Windu be happy he must.
Me: Windu?
Background: Yousa lika the new thinga?
Yoda: *Shush, Jar Jar*; Go I must; may the Force be with you.
Me: Jar Jar?
*Click*
This entry was posted
on Thursday, May 19, 2005 at 11:41 PM.
|
