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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Drunk Dialling: Yoda

Trring Trring


"Not at home I am; leave a message you will; prank call if this is, roast your weenie I will."

Me: *wheeze*



Yoda (alert): Darth vader it is?

Me: *wheeze*

Yoda: Speak you must or else kick butt I will.

Me: Chill out, Yods. It's me, Rohit.

Yoda: Rohit it is?

Me: Yeah; the guy from Earth; you know, from where you got all the CD's from.

Yoda: Ahh yes, remember I do. The earthling who sold me the CD's with Dr. Cock you are.

Me: Dr. Spock, Yods. Not Dr. Cock.

Yoda: Dr.Spock or Dr. Cock; boring it was. Preferr Baywatch I did.

Me: *wheeze*

Yoda: Impersonate Darth vader you must not.

Me: Well, I have ulcers in my mouth so I sorta slurp and wheeze now and then, Yods.

Yoda: Call me Yods do not. have any reasons for calling me up do you?

Me: I thought we could talk.

Yoda: Talk I do when talk I want to.

Me: Well, I thought you might want to talk to me. After what you told me the other day ...

Yoda: Shhhh, not mention that you will.

Me: Relax, Yods. It happens to the best of them and you aren't a young *cough* monkeyhobbitjedithing *cough*, you know.

Yoda: Not young I am but not too old either. Mighty pissed she was.

Me: And understandably so.

Yoda: On whose side you are?

Me: Your side I am; but sympathize I must, Yods.

Yoda: Not mock Galactic Basic you must.

Me: Don't change the topic. So big deal; you and the senator were going at it and then you realized that the Force was not with you.

Yoda: Big disappointment it was.

Me: Like I said; you didn't measure up to it on that day.

Yoda: Not make fun of my height you will. Never happened to me in 900 years this has; young Luke, was mighty disappointed. So shaken up I was; sent young Skywalker to fight Vader I did; You are a Jedi now I said. Bless him, leave me a bottle of Viagra he did.

Me: Wow; so did the magic pill do the trick?

Yoda: Raised my expectations it did but went down soon it did. Again, mighty pissed she was. Abandoned me it has, the Force. So, the Jenna Jameson CD I saw.

Me: You mean "we saw", right?

Yoda: Only me who saw the CD it was. She has the Force with her I think; made my thing do funny things she did.

Me: Where was Amidala all this while?

Yoda: A little talk while she was stroking we had; not very happy she was. Always complaining about men these days she was; bitching she was and thinking about the new Starmates I was. Asked me something she did; know she had talked to me I did not. Whacked me she did and asked me to pay attention.

Me (spellbound): Then?

Yoda: "Bitch, leave me alone" said I. Confounded she was but find her voice she did. Started to bitch about me this time she did. Levitate I did; asked her if she was in that time of the month.

Me: Ha! That should teach the hag some manners; you did well, Yods.

Yoda: Make a note you must; never imply that she is going through that time of the month while she holds the passport to your future in her hands you must. very painful it was; the consequences.

Me: What do you mean?

Yoda: Leave I must; here with the prosthectics she is; the nurse.

Me: Prosthectics?

Yoda: Does not care about the age it does. Windu be happy he must.

Me: Windu?

Background: Yousa lika the new thinga?

Yoda: *Shush, Jar Jar*; Go I must; may the Force be with you.

Me: Jar Jar?

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