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Insanely Inane Thoughts

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

Venture

Friday, December 23, 2005
There are many things that I notice but would rather not admit to.

For example, in the boys’ room, guys have to stare down stone-faced while peeing. I don’t know why but that’s how it is. I think, at some level, guys are still in shock that they have something as wonderful as a penis. So they are afraid it may fall and flow down the yellow river which makes them hold on to it like a jockey in the rodeo hoping that they last the ride.

In some ways, it’s almost like being in a temple and praying.

Now, on the urinal itself. Guys have to piss on a wall with two slabs by the side to prevent people with poor aim from raining on your parade. Many girl friends of mine are aghast at this idea of the men’s urinal. I always say to them that a trip to the boys’ room is like being let onto a secret which you'd appreciate better if it were kept as one.

Another thing guys like to do is to spit while they pee. Yes, spit. It's as if they are disgusted by what they see but they still can't seem to take their eyes off it.

So now if your thing does fall down magically, it isn’t enough for it to swirl in urine. No, you’d rather have it swirl in the urine and the spit before you say, “Well, another trip to the doctor’s.”

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